The Cardiff Times

EXTENSION OF PREMISES. GREAT CLEARANCE SALE NOW PROCEEDING. OETZMANN&Co. 67, 69, 71, 73, 75, 77, A-Ni, 79, HAMPSTEA D RO AD, LONDON (Near Tottenham Court-road p.nd Glower-street Station) SHILLING CAB FARES from Charing-cross, Euston, King's-?ross. Si. Pantxas, and Waterloo Stations, Regent-street, and Piccadilly-circus. SPECIAL SALE CATALOGUE POST FREE. 4100

.WORKMEN'S TOPICS. e- ♦ BY MABON, M.P. II, u THE seamen^ CONGRESS. .1'& at l^Bicng the many congresses that have af recently held few are of more import- ft06 t° the British nation than that of ld h eseaman, and few workmen deserve more ^Oftour and better pay. A large share of r. i^our he has always had, accompanied, 16 ^fcver, by rather poor pay. Before the 3 to**??*1 had a Union, they, like others in like 15 y^ition, were at the raercy of their em- flyers, and the tenderest mercy of their o- /foyers was very often very much like However, they now have a Union, OM? °*r Trade Union to them, like to many 5s j,her trades, has been a real union of hope. 5a being as it was in its conception, the fe ^Pring of hope it has now become the fc of hope. T«e difficulties of forming and establish- f, 8 this Union were very many and for- S hik. they were boldly met and y k^ually overcome; and consequently the 5s Pfesentatives thereof met in very good £ Sttits at the recent annual meeting of the i« *fcional Union of Seamen and Firemen, *■ r81 held at the Essex-hall, Essex-street, London. Delegates from all parts so the United Kingdom met there. J THE PRESIDENT AND HIS ADDRESS. 1* ..The presidential chair was occupied by •» chairman, Mr Samuel Plimsoll, who, 53 delivered the presidential address. I .6w, if any, men living have a more exten- »fr6 knowledge the circumstances which d :trect the wellbeing of the British seaman, d who have a more sympathetic interest i. that welfare. The topics dealt with in .r?t speech show how necessary it is that b of-3 *on should exist. In many branches f, J lndustry a certain degree of risk, not only 'y the health, but to the safety of life, is in- $' J* e< In few, and probably only in one, a, the risk so great as that of the In his speech Mr Plimsoll quoted j° dictum of Dr Johnson, which is to the Jl'Wing effect —" That the life of a seaman Jf i '?$. equivalent to certain imprisonment, pith 8. chance of being drowned." The 1. f ':eaident also informed his audience and l" M*2 Pu^c at lai'g6 that the art of collecting i- /tisfc has developed very much since the 0r's ^me' aut* ^at the latest statistics i o loss of life at sea show that what 0 ,le doctor then said about the seaman's 0 of being drowned was no rhetorical logger a tion. For when he (the president) his litigation it was argued that no 9 j^stabive regulations could affect, except .tersely, the loss of life which was con- t ^ally occurring. i STATISTICS OF WRECKS. 3ut the last wreck record shows the total lives lost at sea to be 496, the °age keing 192,696 and it is alleged this is lower as regards vessels than any i the preceding years lower as regards 10111lage than any year except 1888-89, and than the average of the thirteen years gV 180 vessels and 36,505 tons. Taking .fifcish vessels of all kinds, the total number gLWses at sea was 758, with a tonnage of 5^°)423. This is, as regards vessels, lower any previous in the return. The loss "fe is put down as 4,849 for 1889-90 as J^inst 5,607 in 1888-89, 5,294 in 1887-88, 6,792 in 1886-87. ){r Plimsoll will have some reason to ^gratulate himself upon these figures, and are, moreover, a very strong proof of j, v ^t he previously said, that it looks as i f something had been done by legislation I) reduce the loss of life at sea." This ^temont, though very eocouraging, cannot fet he regarded as satisfactory, for these figures are valued chiefly as showing what be done and what yet remains to be I r-Mr Plimsoll onco more explained the ^f^es of this loss of life as con- ^wtiijg to a large extent in the practice ?t Qver-loading, and that of excessive deck- (s'ding, as well as of sending to sea un- vessels. These things, he main- continued to be extensively done, in vPite of Acts of Parliament, because the Bgislature, in its usual bungling manner, neglected to make adequate pro- v^ion for the enforcement of the law. Ot one thing, the penalty is 6.° ^all that the shipowner can afford to pay it ^any times, and yet be largely the gainer besides, magistrates, whose duty it is the law, mostly belong to the class as the law-breakers. FCJRTHER REFORMS NEEDED. Other things which indirectly cause serious °ss of life, as well as much discomfort to #6&men, viz., the bad food and bad "ccoinmodation often provided for them dealt with. Of these evils *1' Plimsoll gave some shocking When no account is taken of, Uf attention paid to the health and life of :ell, many of whom have wives and children epending upon them, it is no wonder that is called the lower animals are so often *eated with great cruelty. Mr Plimsoll also happily able to report that his to check the cruelties so often j^petrated in the cattle trade had not •together been in vain. The Governments both Canada and the United States, he i'id, have adopted measures which will at ea«fc mitigate those cruelties. The general secretary's report was the )( j feature of the second day's proceed- 1 ;is the speech of the President Avas of lii-sfc day. Mr Wilson's report may be ^escribed as a splendid record of difficulties tnet and overcome, of opposition en- Countered and mostly vanquished, of good --ord done and progress made. A SERIOUS MISTAKE. Having regard to the great stress laid, Jnd'very properly so, at this Congress upon he inadequate penalty for overloading, f)))e cannot help expressing the great f^rprise felt, in common with other labour l««Wers, at Mr Plimsoll's extraordinary JjWrifesto on behalf of this Conservative government and the Tories generally for, ■" he has possibly forgotten, all else will ^ell remember that it was the Tories who most of the good out of the Merchant J pipping Bill introduced by the Liberal government, and in charge of the Right "on. Joseph Chamberlain. We now, as did then, thoroughly agree with Mr "Hmsoll, that a small fine will put a stop to overloading, shipowners and freighters have reason to ^erload. On the otM hand, the more cargo ||hey carry, the'more profitable it is for them. ?hould th^ ship happen to go down, the ccivjers tb.. 19M of tihe C¥JQ..n.4 ^«8sel, but as to the sailors—who cares for ?hem ? Nobody thinks of them. This has happened so often that they have more justified Dr Johnson's dictum. But :e shall see whether Mr Plimsoll's confi- in the Tories will be Justified by results. Let them in- 1 induce a Bill to amend the Merchant shipping Act, and then if the Liberals will fellow the Tory example, already set, and oPpose it, the sailors will be justified in tega-rding them as enemies. But the Tories ^Ul do nothing of the kind. They may ^trcduce a measure, having no intention to it, as they have done on many occa- Si0lls—notably with regard to the amending the Employers' Liability Act. SATISFACTORY PROGRESS. It is very satisfactory to note the rapid tfowth of the Sailors' Uni n. It now num- some 70,000 members, and it has proved a great boon to our seafaring popu- lation, both by securing better wages and "etter treatment for the sailors, and by enforcing their legal rights. Sailors are one af the few remaining classes of the corn. fftunity that are imprisoned for break- their contract. Why there should I e*ist such a cruel distinction between the sailors and other classes of *| etllployecs J know not, unless it is that they J h&vehitherLo had avery indifferent represen- ^tion in Parliament. If the shipowners 1tere similarly treated, there would have been less roomfor complaint, but it ia^no*m it. and it is well known that their interest has been very well taken care of in the House of Commons. Let us hope, that at the next general election Mr J. H. Wilson will be returned to that house, then the sailors and firemen will have in him, a gentlenan that is well able to, and doubtless will, well watch their interests therein.

FACTS FOR FARMERS. — — ■ I M.I II^.W Current Notes on Agriculture. By a Practical Farmer. MR CHAMBERLAIN'S BAIT. Mr Chamberlain is an experienced angler. He well knows the colour fly which suits the water he is nebing in. The tempting bait in the shape of Land Courts which he dangled at Llanybyther before the eyes of the hard-headed and practical farmers of Car- diganshire and West Carmarthen would have resulted in some of these being caught but for past experience. The satisfactory position at- tained by the Irish farmer has caused his Welsh brother's month to water for a similar boon before now. Mr Chamberlain recapitulated the henefits secured by them for a purpose that is easy to guess, and farmers in those districts are shrewd guessers. It is all very well to say that Ireland has secured her Land Courts, where the Irish tenant can go and have a fair rent fixed for his holding, this fair rent being such that will enable the tenant to make a living out of the holding, and not a competitive one. In this way, said Mr Chamberlain, he has the power to sell his holding without consulting his landlord, and in many cases the Irish tenant has sold the privilege of taking the land under these conditions for 10 years and even20 years purchase of the rent of the farm. He cannot be, evicted as long as he pays his tent. If he cannot pay his rent he can go to the court, and if it says it is due to misfortune, he can get a stay of eviction; and, lastly, if he arranges with his landlord he purchases his farm, and the State will lend money on such terms that, by paying 20 and in some cases 40 per cent. less J than the fair rent fixed for him, he becomes in 49 years, absolute owner of the farm. Would not Welsh farmers like something of the same sort ? I can venture to answer the question in the affirmative. As farmers we certainly should like it, and from the drift of Mr Chamberlain's speech, the conclusion to be arrived at is that he thinks we are entitled to such justice and benefit. He admitted it to be a most urgent question, which affects a large class. But Mr Chamberlain was silent on the main point-how was this desirable end to be attained? Would the party to which he has attached himself promote such a measure for Wales ? He did not say so; perhaps he thought that would be testing the oredulity Gf his bearers too muoh. The nearest approach he made to such an assertion was that the Government have ac- cepted the principle of Mr Jesse Collings Small Holdings Bill. But this is very wide of accept- ing the principles of land courts, See., similar to those of Ireland, {or\he Principality. It was but small encouragement the Irishmen got from the Conservative party towards bettering themselves, They have attained their present position by their own labours through their representatives, with the help of the Liberal party. Whatever Con- servatives have of late done, it was from expedi- ency and not from principle. The same course will have to be taken by Welsh farmers before they can attain the position and benefits which the Irish have secured. Trusting their cause to the Tories, farmers of Wales, from experience, well know, wottld be a suicidical policy. THE WEATHER AGAIN, The continuauce of the wet weather has cast a gloom over every class of farmers. Rain, rain every day without ceasing, and every successive day as if it was bant on breaking the record in the fall of rain. Not a fine day for a month or six wevks, late harvesters having their corn crops ruined pitiful complaints in this respect are rife everywhere in the hilly districts. A day or two ago I heard a farmer saying that every handful of both his hay and corn crop had this year been wholly ruined through the continuous rainy weather. He has been very unfortunate. A great part of his hay crop was ready to be hauled in in splendid condition, and when he was on the point of doing so, it commenced to rain, and the weather continued unsuitabable for hauling till the whole was quite worthies. The same, again, promises to be the fate of his corn crop. In fact, his fears have been realised, for it is all out on the fields, the straw rotting and the grain has all ( sprouted. Something similar is the fate of the corn orops of scores of farmers in the hilly dis- tricts. If we turn to the valleys, although farmers have secured th"ir cereal crops, yet they feel anxious as they gase on the rapid disap- pearance early of the herbage through an over abundance of wet, which causes great damage. Flock-masters from the same reason are dreading the visitation of the liver-fluke amongst their flocks. The great losses sustained through this cause in the spring of 1880 are fresh in the minds of many at the present moment. Store stock are selling only at ruinous prices. Turn in whatever direction you like, the prospects are most gloomy, and this year will be disastrous to hundreds of farmers. The Weather and the Crops. The Mark-tone Express of Monday says:— Autumnal gales of exceptional violence have raged round our coasts during the past week, and the work of threshing hM been interrupted; whilst in some places the land has become too wet for ploughing. This, however, is not the case on f j*y yery large area, and in the eastern counties there has been fair progress made with the sowing of rye wheat and winter barley. Reports from the country markets show that fine quality wheat is extremely rare this season, but that the weight is almost normal. Malting barley is still in small supply, but there is a noticeable increase on last weeJc, and in another fortnight the deliveries heavy. The price of English wheat at Mark lane has declined Is 2d on the week, and .r I.P"068 leading markets show a siig.nt ^pfovement in Californian and in Karachi, wnue other sorts may be quoted firm at The price cf spring corn is ratber higher to-day than it was a week ago. A rise of on per qr. on barley and oats may be quoted. JSE" ?lore irregular, but the majority of the Ltaseed advan*' 8e^0re* firmer than peas.

= 8HE LOST Hilt. DeUy Bow do you think i coming on? I Louise i What, Asftf } Delly: Why, my moustache, Louise: Don't you think It would be easier to trim the eyebrows down to raatoh the moustache, instead of trying any longer to entice the mous- tache to match the eyebrows ?

TEA AT CAMBRIDGE. Old Women Undergrade. It is not ladies only who are slaves of the teapot. Aooording to a correspondent of The Granta," the fascinating beverage—as TTh-. Johnson called it—is working havoc with oa nerves and brains of Cambridge undergraduates. They start the day by drinking large quantities —the kindred curse," coffee, is occasionally substituted, but it is pretty much the same. In the afternoon they have tea again, and not once only, but many times. The witness has himself partaken of five teas in one afternoon. After Hall more slops," and then, perhaps, about eleven at night, if the vice has made sufficient progress, an abandoned man will brew more tea, and eventually retire to rest "a limp, miserable, tea-sodden wretch." An in- stance is cited of an excellent Rugby player who oame to Cambridge with A good chance of obtaining his blue in his second season. But before that time a marked and painful change had set in. His digestion was gone, his hand— once the steadiest—trembled pitifully. People said he had given way to drink." He had only given way to tea. Who," asks his ardent reformer, will be the first to join the Light Blue Ribbon Army with a pledge against— Tea 1"

THE QUEEN OF ROUMANIA. It has b6t.ll definitely arranged that the Queen of Ronmania shall come to England directly she is sufficiently strong to travel. Since leaving Venice her Majesty has recovered very consider- ably, and is now able to take a good walk daily. "Carmen Sylva" has always had the greatest love for England, aud she is convinced tnat the balmy breezes of the Isle of Wight or of Bourne- mouth will do much for her. Queen Victoria has manifested much interest in the patient's condi- tion, and throughout her prolonged illness has several times sent her messages of sympathetic kindness. It is not probable that the King of Roumania. will be able to accompany the Queen, the present position of the romance in which the Prince is so much interested requiring his presence in Roumania. It will interest our readers to know that her Majesty's latest literary production, a Fairy Christmas Taie, has already been secured for the Cardiff Times and South Wales Weekly News, and will appear in the Christmas number of that journal.

CONTRASTS. I The man who writes The man who slaps the jokee, ycu on th« back, and +41s them to yoa.

Musical and Eisteddvodi Notes. | g BY MAELGWYN. IN MK.MOKI J.M—JOHN NORTH, Though he was not of the Cymric nation we feel that by the death of John North we have lost one who took a deep interest in the eistedd- vod. We looked upon him as a true friend, although it was only within the last four or five years that we knew him—true, because he never indulged in any of that wretched over-praise which ev6i-yune who hears it feels he does not deserve. J. North was upright to a fault—his outspokenness won for him thj respect of all, and therss was a something in his very looks which inspired confidence, and made the competitor feel that under his judgment justice would be dealt out with au even hand. Never did I hear a single person express dissatisfaction with his awards— victors and vanquished were alike convinced that they had received what they deserved. Never did I hear him go out of his way to laud the victor or blame the defeated. He was, as a rule, cold and stern, and these very qualities ma.de him popular with competitors. Well do I remember him at Neath last Boxing Day. With his com- panion, Mr Docksey, he sat out the whole of the contests, and watched every competitor with an earnestness that was really remarkable. The competitors that day had a taste of his stern out- spokenness, for when giving his decision in the choral competition be said: "I must tell you plainly, at the outset, that the singing to which I have just listened has not been up to the stand- ard generally reached by your South Wales choirs." This was undoubtedly true, yet how few men would care to say so to an audience of 6,000 or 7,000? But we may be sure that John North made no enemies by this assertion—the Welsh people prize outspokenness above all things. Yet although apparently so cold and stern, John North was genial to a fault when his work was done. On the occasion referred to he laughed merrily at the remembrance of the Deluge Eisteddvod at Bridgend with its hundred and one curious incidents. The day at Neath was bitterly cold, I and, like everybody else, Mr North sat wrapped in a heavy overcoat. And to prevent the people from seeing his teeth chatter he kept a handker- chief to his mouth until the room got warmer. I saw him at Ferndale on the occasion of his last visit to South Wales. Who that saw him then in the heyday of bis manhood could have imagined that in five short weeks afterwards that clearing ringing voice would be stilled in death, and that proud form be smouldering in the grave ? Only too true is it that in the midst of life we are in death. At Ferndale Mr North was as outspoken as he had been at other places, his condemnation of the Eisteddvod Committee for their selections of a pianoforte test piece was unsparing. I had been accustomed to utterances of this kind, but never until that day had I heard Mr North bestow what may be called very high praise, or flattery, if you prefer the word. Yet in adjudicating the choral com- petition he grew quits enthusiastic over the sopranos in two of the choirs, and declared that one of the choirs had sung from the very soul. There is no wonder that Mr North had been offered three engagements in Wales after the Ferndale Eisteddvod his popularity was grow- ing daily, and had he lived there can be no doubt that he would have figured at a majority of the many great eisteddvodau that are to be held next year. But the cruel band of the Destroyer was laid upon him in the pride of life, and the Eisteddvod of Wales is poorer by his loss. Farewell, good friend, a nation mourns at thy decease, and wafts thee an eternal adieu. Farewell, and when a tablet is raised to thy memory, may it contain the simple epitaph, "Here lies a.n honest man."

w- A PKRFKOT BBUTE. -Some men are just too hateful mean for any use. and there'sa man living in Charlotte-avenues with just the loveliest wife, who is that sort. Saturday he came into the pretty parlour where she was, and, jingling a handful of quarters, he remarked: Do you need change, Aliqp T' Oh, no," she said, taking out her own purse, well filled, Co of course, I don't; look here," and shook it laughingly. "I'm so flad," he rejoined, j fcbsn wo wotft h&vo to go away for the summer. You kuow the doctor said you wouldnt have to go, if yon dj;a.tJ need ohange." THE BKST EVJDKNCK.—Justice: You called this man a drunken, team. What reason have yon to insult him by such language ?—Prisoner: I guess I Imow WhM I am talking about. Don't. we take each other home every DicIn t

Lights of the Bench and the Bar. No. 2.SIR CHARLES RUSSELL, I Q.C., M.P. (1'"a71& IS p1aotO{J"f(1,/)h blJ BaBla)}(J.) I (Prom a photograph by Bassana.) For a few months in 1886 Sir Charles Russell, as Attorney-General in Mr Gladstone's Home Rule Government, was the titular leader of the English Bar. When, by a turn of the political whirligig, he had to give place to the present Attorney-General, he remained the aotual leader of the bar. To say this is to cast no reflection on Sir Richard Webster, who is an adminsble lawyer, but lays no claim to those more brilliant qualities which go to make up a great advocate. Nor is the statement one which need be resented by anyone concerned for the reputation of the Bar as a whole. If the Bench is always drawing to itself the brightest ornaments of the Bar there is never a lack of talent to fill up the vacant places. At the present time there are at least half-a-dozen men whose magnificent gifts of advocacy have made their names familiar in our mouths as household words. But were the number of such men double or treble what it is, the profession might still feel proud to recognise as its leader a man of such splendid parts as Sir Charles. With the laity his primacy is estab- lished beyond dispute. His appearance in a cause celibre in which there is money enough to buy the best available advocacy is now taken for granted and the reflection in which the man in the street is most likely to indulge is that happy is the suitor whose lot is to be examined, and not cross examined, by the man whose handling of Pigott was an incident long to be remembered. We do not forget that in a recent case of national interest his opponent made much the more brilliant display. We have no wish to deprecate Sir Edward Clarke, as will be seen when we come to him in the course of this scries. The effort was, perhaps, the finest even he has ever made; and it was at least as admirable for its boldness as for its ingenuity and its rhetoric. But it must be remembered that it was only on his side that ingenuity and rhetoric could decently be used. Sir Charles, though he appeared for the defence, was really in the position of prosecuting oouosel; and the severe restraint be put upon himself was, in truth, proof of his fine taot as an advxn^ate. If this be doubted, one might a*k, Who wou the verdict ? As all tin world knows, Sir Charles Russell is an Irishcj in, b-rn itear Newry, in the County Down, in 1633. That he is proud of his nationality no one can need to be told who remembers the peroration of his address before the Parnell Commission. My lords," he said with proud pathos, I have spoken not merely as an advocate"; I have spoken for the land of my birth and the manifest sincerity of the speaker made the passage one of the most thrilling ever spoken in a court of justice. It is probably because his sincerity as a Home Ruler is so implicitly accepted, and not because he is looked upon as a mere hired advocate, whom it is not worth while to dislike, that he is regarded politically with more tolerance than we generally feel towards adversaries. He is respected also by his political opponents because, while his sincerity is beyond dispute, he is felt to be something more, or less-the reader may take his choice—than an enthusiast. So free is he, indeed, from this sus- picion, that, in introducing some of his clients to the notice of the Commission, he felt himself at liberty to utter a noble vindication of this quality of theirs. My lords," said he, in ringing tones, "there is room in this world for more enthusiasm. Our age, our time, our habits of life constitute an existence selfish, dull, material enough, and it is enthusiasts who lift us at times out of ourselves, and do something to retrieve that general tone of selfish materialism which, I am afraid, is a growing characteristic of these days. And after all, my lords, it is enthusiasts who have sounded the trumpet in times gone by, and who will in times to come do it; who have sounded the trumpet when any great: cry of hnmamty has gone forth, and any great effort for human redress has to be made." In some senses Sir Charles is an Irishman of Irishmen. He was not only born but bred in Ireland. Remind him of his boyish days, and he will revert with delight to bis rambles over the Killowen Mountains and along the beautiful coast of Carlingford Lough. He began his studies at Castlenock School, near Dublin and it is worth noting, perhaps, that about this time his unole, Dr Russell, of Maynooth, was putting the finishing touches to the conversion to the Roman Catholic faith of Dr Newman. Articled to a solicitor at Dundalk, young Russell was for several years in practice as an attorney in Belfast, and while so engaged found time to take his degree at Trinity College. Seeking a. wider field for the powers of which he was conscious, he came to London, and for a time was leader-writer for a Catholic journal. During this time, however, he was eating dinners with a view to the Bar. to which, in 1859, he was called at Lincoln's Inn, joining the Northern Circuit. It is on record that his first year brought him in B200. which was not, after all, a bad beginning, as beginnings at the Bar go. The second year his professional < income was JMOO; the third y&ar it again doubled tself what it is now we are not in a position to state, and if we were, an aversion to being suspected of exaggeration would probably deter as from giving the figures. In addition to his Irish birth and breeding, Sir Charles has the alight accent which the true Irishman never loses, and he is married to an Irish lady, sister of Miss Rose Mulholland, tba authoress. And yet with all these claims 6s be regarded as a typical Irishman, it cannot be said that his is the true Irish temperament. Wo do ?°t forget that be has a quiok temper, and that when anything occurs to irritate him he can ex- press himself with a good deal of force. But irascibility is scarcely an Irish trait. We have known plenty of Englishmen, and even English counsel and judges, who could quite easily get angry and launch out. He is also eloquent, but even eloquence is not a monopoly of the Irish race. The true netes of the Irish temperament, so far as oratory is concerned, are, we should say, exuberance and rhetorical exaggeration. Now neither of these qualities can be debited-or credited—to Sir Charles. He is certainly not one of those men whose only difficulty in speaking is that they cannot roll off the words as fast as they come to the tongue. The writer of these lines heard him speak on several occasions soon after he entered the House as member for Dundalk in 1880 and although he was listened to with respect an one who had mastered a diffi- cult subject—the great Irish Land Bill of those days—he spoke not merely with deliberation, but haltingly, and almost coldly. Since thwn his Par- liamentary and platform rhetoric has improved, and his addresses on public questions are marked by passages of forcible eloquence, bub it is a grave, measured eloquence. as different as pos. sible from the impassioned oratory of a Sheridan or a Sheil. His speech on the second reading of the Home Rule Bill in 1886 was recogniwJ on both sides of the House as marking a distinct advance in his Parliamentary oratory. But be is never likely, we suspect, to develop into a great Parliamentarian. His most brilliant oratorical successes have been at the Bar; and he is never so much at home as when striving to persuade and convince a. jury, except, indeed, when he is extracting damaging admissions from a reluctant witness. He has been called the terrible cross-examiner," and it can scarcely be gainsaid that he is the first of vivisectors in an age which has produced a Hawkins and a Huddle- ston, a Coleridge and a. Ballantino. Other distinguished practitioners have excelled in some ono branch of the art; Sir Charles Russell is great in every branch. He can be magnificently indignant, he can be as stern as Rhadamanthus, he can be sympathetic and confidential. It is only due to him, however, to say that his pre- ference is for the gentler methods, and that he generally reserves his thunder and lightning for witnesses who are obviously swearing hard, or who nuke no satisfactory response to his graciousness. He may generally be relied upon, even on the most important occasion, as in his cross-examination of Pigott, to begin deliberately and calmly, and with apparent uneoncern. Pince-nez in band, one foot resting on the bench in front of him, he commences a long distance away from the point he is making for, and takes the measure of his victim, refreshing himself occasionally from his silver snuff-box. The witness may begin to think that cross- examination is, after all, rather an agreeable process than otherwise, and perhaps shows him- self a trifle less accommodating than he might be from his opponent's point of view. If so, he suddenly finds that. without having at all intended to sow the wind, he is reaping the whirl- wind and it now begins to dawn upon him that it is the bounden duty of the mouse tu play up to the cat as long as there is a whisker of him undevoured. If Sir Charles has no worlds left to conquer as an advocate, he is not yet, m all probability, at the height of his career. His fitting destination, in due time, and when prior claims have been satisfied, would be the Woolsack. But in the present state of the law, while we have a Roman Catholic Home Secretary, and might if we chose have a Roman Catholic Prime Minister, it is re- quisite that the Lord Chancellor should be a Protestant- or, rather, should not be a Roman Catholic, which is not quite the same thing. The Liberal leaders have given notice of a Bill to abolish this disqualification, and in making this move they are understood to have their late Attorney-General in view. This is not the plac* to discuss the probable fate of a measure which may be the occasizn of controversy; but we shall offend no susceptibility in saying that Sir Charles's religious faith is the only objection which could possibly ba urged against his eleva- tion to the headship of our judioiary. For him- f self, he is probably in no hurry for promotion. StiM a comparatively young man, he is neither afraid of hard work, nor has he lost his delight in battle; and devoted as he is to the Turf, which is not always an inexpensive taste, he may well possess his soul in patience on an income con- siderably greater than emoluments enjoyed by the Keeper of the Queen's Conscience. NEXT WEEK- THE LORD CHANCELLOR.

A WOMAN'S WIT. It was 11 o'clock at night, and I was goiug to my room in a Florida hotel, when a woman came out of her room, fully dressed, and asked Do you belong to the hotel ? No, ma'am." „ Are there many people here to-night ? It is crowded. ,f And it won't do to start a panic. Let me say quietly to you that the hotel is on fire. I have known it for ten minutes but did not want to create an excitement." Are you sure, ma'am?" I asked. Entirely sure, sir. I smelted the smoke while in bed. You go quietly down and tell the clerk, and I will knock on all the doors on this floor." She was wonderfully cool and collected, and I never thought of doubting her assertion. Going down by the stairway, I beckoned the clerk aside and told him of the fire. He went to the elevator with me and ascended to the third floor, where we found about twenty half-dressed people in the halls. The woman who had given me orders came up and said— "Come this way. I don't think the fire has much of a start yet." We followed her to her room and began to sniff and snuff. There was certainly a strong odour of something burning, but the clerk had taken only one sniff when he went out and rapped on the next door. HeUo I" called a voice. Are you smoking- ?" "Yes." "Smoking Florida tobacco?" Yes. What of it?" "Nothing. Ma'am, you can go back to bed. Much obliged to you for your sagacity and wit, but both were a little too keen this time. The stingy old cuss in that room is smoking swamp tobacco, and it always smells like a fire eating its way under a pine floor."

A TRAVELLER'S DILEMMA. As we were about leaving the hotel at Philadel- phia this morning, there seemed some delay from a passenger in the third storey. Pretty soon we heard a sharp altercation upstairs, followed by the appearance of a short, fat man, with a red face, who preceded a negro with an armful of boots. The short, fat man hobbled to the bar, and in a sort of ominous whisper, as though he took some credit for not being in a towering pAs. sion, said— Landlord, where are my boots f Why, really, sir, 1- What number were they ?" What has that to do with it f' said the fat man, beginning to get excited. I don't know the number I believe they were eight, with low heels and pegged." Ah, you mistake. What is the number of your room ?" "Forty-five." "And did you put the number on your boots when you took them off ?" What have I to do with marking .boota! Do you think I carry a bottle, of ink In my pocket to prevent my boots being stolen ?' But there was a piece of chalk on the stand where you took them off." A piece of thunder and lightning •" said the other, "ni tell you what, landlord, this won't do. The simple question is—Where are my boots ? I took them off in this house, and you are responsible for them. That's law all over the world. "Carriage waiting," said the driver. "Let it wait," said the fat man. "Suppose I can go without my boots ?" "Here be one pair that weren't marked," said the black are them um ?" "Them um, you rascal! Why, they are an inch too short, and the heels are two inches high." "Carriage waiting, and the boat will leave if I wait any longer," shouted the driver, while we in the carriage were all urging him to start. The fat man gasped for breath. Landlord, I again ask, where are my boots ?" Why! really, sir, I Go or not?" said the driver. The short man seized the unmarked boots, and strained and pulled till he got them on, and, groaning as though his feet were in a vice, "I'll tell you what it is, landlord, I call all these people to witness-" Carriage starting," said the bystanders. The fat man started too, and was inst getting into the coach, when the black touched his coat-tail, saying, Remember the servant, sir." "Yea," said the otoec, turning round and lay- I ing his cane over the waiter's head, take that, and that, and try and see if you can remember me, and my boots, too." After we reached the boat, and, for a lung time, the fat man seemed lost in a reverie, look- ing at his new boots. I once heard him mutter, After all, if I get the heels out off, they won't be so very uncomfortable, and mine, did leak a little." Thus may we draw comfort from the worst of ills for what ia worse than losing one's boots when the carriage is waiting and the boat about to start ?

ROYAL RESIDENCES. 'I I KENSINGTON PALACE. Kensington Palace is a picturesque old red briok building, redolent of the days of Queen Anne, and was originally the seat of Sir Heneage Finch, the Recorder of London, who died there in 1631, and in the handlt of his family the palace remained until it was purchased of Lord Chancellor Finch by King William III. The palace, whose rich colouring admirably contrasts with the surrounding green foliage or blue sky, contains a comfortable though in no way over- poweringly splendid suita of State apartments. The grand staircase of black and white marble and graceful ironwork leads from the prinoipal entranoe to the palaee, on the west by a long corridor, the sides of wbich are painted to re- present a gallery crowded with spectators on a grand Court day, in which Kent, the artist, has introduced portraits of himself and of many other notabilities in the time of George I. The Chapel Royal is as plain and simple an apartment as it is possible to con- ceive, but it is remarkable for containing some very fine communion plate. To most Englishmen of the present day the most interesting room in the whole building would be that room in the north-east corner of the palace wherein our pre- sent Queen first saw the. light. It is a room with three large windows looking out upon the gardens towards the Round Pond, and upon the north wall is a small brass plate bearing this inscrip- tion In this Room Queen Victoria Was Born, May 24th, 1819." It was in the Palace that 18 years later the Queen descended the sunny staircase early one June morning to receive the great news that she had become Queen of England, and it was here that, on the following day, the young Queen met her first Council. The Palace has a character 4f its own among the other Royal residences, £81', as Leigh Hunt has truly said, It possesses Dutch solidity." It was in the palace that both William and Mary breathed their last; and here assembled some of the liveliest wits and courtiers that ever brightened the glflom of a singularly sombre- Court, or left a name upon the rolls of a long and notable history. Lord Dorset, one of the wits of the Court of Charles II., and his friend Prior would come here—and, indeed, it was here that Prior obtained his appointment as one of the "gentlemen of the King's bedchamber." Here came Congreve, the playwright, Swift, and Sir William Temple; Burnet, the gossiping historian and courtly bishop. And it was here also that Peter the Great dined frequently with the King, and it has been wondered how the two sove- reigns got on so well together. A droll story is told how that one day the King took the Russian Monarch to the House of Lords, when the latter, owing to a natural shyness, made the lords and the King himself laugh, by peeping strangely at them out of a window in the roof. Queen Anne resided much at the palace, adding largely to its size and to the beauty of William's formal and stately Dutch gardens. The orangery, a fine detached building at a little distance on the north side, was built for her by Sir Christopher Wren. As one parses through the silent and almost deserted rooms, one peoples them with the ghosts of those who onoe paced along them. One sees with the spirit's eye Addison and Steele passing into the Royal levee, or recall the image of stately Bolingbroke, or the sarcastic, bitter Irish dean, or anon there comes across the scene the handsome courtly figure of the Great Duke and his lovely Duchess, Sarah Jennings. It is curious to note how much of its beauty the palace owes to its Royal mistresses. Queen Mary and Queen Anne both greatly beautified their quiet home, and Queen Caroline not only completed the designs of her predecessors, but by taking in several acres of Hyde Park, and bringing what is called the Serpentine River into them, she has rendered the whole almost a second Eden, the beauty and charm of which are so much appreciated by the wearied dwellers in this great wilderness of brick and mortar. Rarely now does Royalty live within the hospitable walls of the palace itself, though here for many years have dwelt the Marquis of Lorne and the Princess Louise. NEXT WEEK: BUCKINGHAM PALACE.

The Birmingham Musical Festival. BY DR JOSEPH PARRY, University College, Cardiff. The first week of this mouth found me at the above festival-it may not be too much to say at the most perfect festival of the present century. DR HANS RICHTBR. the conductor, who was born in 1843, is probably the finest living conductor. He bad around him a truly magnificent orchestra, made up as follows: 1st violins, 20 2nds, 19 violas, 16 violoncellos, 16 basses, 14 2 flutes, 2 piccolos, 4 oboes, 1 cor Anglais, 1 bass clarionet, 4 bassoons, 5 horns, 3 trumpets, 5 tromboUv I tuba, 2 harps, and all the percussive instrumeu 'he whole forming a band under this wonderfu 'uctor which produced rare effects and tone gra, ns. Some £10,000 bad been spent in decoratn., and improving the hall; thus, with the electric lights and the fine audiences the sight was lovely. The concerts covered four days, as usual, two concerts per day, 11.30 a.m. and 8 p.rn. day tickets, Bl la and 10s 6d only, for the evening concerts 15s and 8s only. TTM OHOIR was also excellent, and contained 100 lopranos, 70 contraltos, 21 male altos, 94 tenors, 90 basses. | The orchestral part of this hall accommodates fully I 500 performers, the grand organ standingout boldly at the central back. The 168th festival was opened on Friday with THE "ELIJAH." Birmingham may well feel proud of having given birth to so noble a work. Having failed to be at thia performance, I can but state that both chorus and band did well, though without re- hearsal, and that Albani's illness deprived the Festival of 1891 of her noble presence and ser- vices, Miss Macintyre taking the soprano part. The other artistes were Misses Williams and Wilson and Messrs Lloyd and Santley, who were in fine festival fonn. 1 TUARIDAY EVBKIWS OONCKBT. I This was a grand miscellaneous concert of the very highest order. Part I. opened with Dr Mackenzie's short cantata of some half-an-hour. of Dryden's Veni Creator Spiritus, for chorus, quartette, and full orchestra. It is an able, musicianlike, and effective work, and does its prolific composer great credit. After Miss Maointyre's "Angels ever bright and fair," Dr Joachim, the world's greatest violinist, made his appearance to play Beethovon's immortal Violin Concerto; this was, I believe, this truly Hungarian classicist's first appearance at these festivals. He had a kingly reception. and played as a king of artistes. As an interpreter of the two great B's -Beethoven and Bach—ha has no equal, for he never asserts his visible self as an executant, but leads you to, and makes you think of, feel, and listen to the soul message which the composer has in his creation. Surely this is the highest art of interpretation. Part II. gave a delightful rendering of my dear late teacher Sir W. S. Bennebtfsoverture Naiades. This exquisite overture was streaming with melody that bubbled with most charming music. Following this was a fine duet of Mr A. Goring Thomas's, sung by Miss Macintyre and Mr Brereton. This was a fine production, and the instrumentation was most skilful and effective. For the finale of this concert we had Brahm's Symphony No. 3, which was a rare artistic treat from an executive point of view by the band, ¡ under Richter, while from the intrinsic merit ajad beauty of the work itself it was so overpowering that one WM for the first time converted > to the belief and faith of Brahmism. The Hungarianistic rhythmic wealth of the work is great, and since the Romantic School of Schumann and Chopin, one can easily feel that the resources of rhythm and short figures are quite inexhaustible and marvel- lously characteristic when so nicely tinged and coloured with the idtosyncracies of nationalism. This brought the first day's festival to an artistic close. WEDNESDAY MORNING'S CONCERT. Bach's Passion of our Lord, according to St. Matthew.-The first English performance of this work was by and under the conductor- ship of Sir W. S. Bennett. It is the general though erroneous impression, even amongst musicians, that Bach was great in nothing but fugues. Here is a colossal, classic, and truly devotional work, which, after many omitted numbers, took fully three hours and a half, and not a single fugue in the whole, and with but one little fugual subject in the entire work. As to whether Handel or Bach was the greater scholar and man, the scale has and will ever favour Bach. No one can ever dare to say that Bach is ever "light,secular,"and the likeforheis everonthe very highest summits of highest art, and the greatest devotion. Hii harmonies are on an equality with those of the most modern com- posers; his accompanied recitatives arif also wonderfully rich, and impressive often, but by two fhltes and basses, and his orchestral oom- mand far excels his contemporary, Handel. It is safer to love both these great masters than to love either at the expense of the other. The either at the expense of the other. The description of the earthquake after the Crucifixion of our dear Saviour is truly remarkable at that period of bur art. The many heavenly chorales introduced into this sacred work are divine the principals, choirs, orchestra, and conductor all did their work con amore, and the result was that the large musical and select audience all left having been made holier men and women after the noble and elevating influences of this work, which came from the great heart and mind of our graat master, Johann Sebastian Each, whose memory the whole musical world reveres. We shall finish our description of the festival in our next.

Nervous Guest (on ninth floor of summec hotal): Ab, porter, in case of fire, is it emy for me to get out? Porter: Oh, yes, sir; take that flight of stairs at the end of the haU. Nerrous Quasfci Where do they lead to ? Porter: The m-l. air. Don't bother yourself about unlaid eggs, but examine the laid ones carefully to asoarfcaln if they do n^c fbe!nri<* to tho vintage of a prerltHts year. It has boen decided by a Brooklyn oburoh that playing cards isn't wicked, and two-thirds of tha congregation have quit using them. If the sun had nothing else to do bat shine on the righteous, it would be hardly worth while for i him to ripe as etrly as he does.

WELSH GLEANINGS. I By Lloffwr. I Mae Cymtoclorion Caerdydd wedi caellle droion yn y golofn hon, ac felly nid ] gweddus fyddai tnyned heibio yn ddisylw y cyflwyniad o'i ddarlun i'r Llywydd, yr Uchgadben Jones, yr wythnos ddiweddaf. Ceir adroddiad o'r cyfarfod mewn colofn arall, ond gwnaf le yma i syniadau tri o wyr cedyrn am dano, sef Mr Burt, A.S., yt hwm leinw ymlilith glowyr Gogledd Lloegr yr ua fath le ag a lenwir yn y Bhondda gan Mabon Mr Tom Ellis, am yr hwn nid oes eisieu dweyd gair a Dyved, yr hwn a adweinir gan bob Cymro. Northumberland Miners' Mutual Confident Association, 20, Burdon-terrace, Newcastle-on-Tyne, Oct. 17th, 1891. Dear Sirs,—It is very careless of me to have allowed even extreme pressure of business to prevent my acknowledgment of your kindness in inviting me to the meeting in honour of my dear and good friend, Major Jones. I rejoice to see recognition of the worth and services of such a man. I hope you had a good meeting. It was impossible for me to be present.—With best wishes, yours very truly, THOS. BUKT. Druids' Cross, Wavertree, Liverpool. Oct. 12,1891. Dear Sirs,—Many thanks for your kind invita- tion, which I much regret I cannot attend owing to a previous engagement. Already Major Jones's services to Wales have been many and most valuable. May he have a. long life to fight the battles and enrich the life of his fatherland -Yours faithfully, THOMAS E. ELLIS. Wele'r gwr a Iwyr garwn,—ac iddo Gweddus barch a dalwn Ei ogoniant ddadganwn Ar len hardd y darlun hwn. Linn bardd yn 11 awn o uiddas,—dyma lun A dim lol o'i gwmpas Dymunol wrid mewnol ras, Ddullweddodd lliwiau addas. Cymro da, Cymro diwvd, — Cyinro iach, Cymro uchel hefyd; Dvn drwyddo 'n Gyinro i gyd, A n siriol iaith a sieryd. Da frodor, a'i frwdfryddedd—yn genllef Gwynlliw o hyawdledd Dyn o fil, a dawu a fedd I roi synwyr i?r Senedd. Ein gwerinol gawr union,—a fynwn I lwyfanau'r Goron; Rbaid i'r gwr o Dregaron Roi ei lef dros Gymru Ion. Oes y gwr disegmyd.—fo'n doraeth O fwynderau bywyd; A chlodfawr uchlaw adfyd Ein Cadben fo'n ben y byd. DrrsD. I have on more than one occasion referred to the appointment of Welsh-speaking officials in Welsh-speaking Re- ferring to some appointments which are fresh in the public mind, the Laic Times says :— A great deal might be said in deprecation of recent appointments to the oounty-court Bench. But the profession has become thoroughly recon- ciled to the fact that any and every qualification, except learning and experience, justify a selec- tion for the Bench of the inferior courts. The result is that the Bench itself is brought into contempt, which is peculiarly hard upon the many able judges who administer justice in those courts -courts in which there is now work to be done little inferior to that which occu- pies judges of the High Court. It is impossible to gauge the influences brought to bear upon the Prime Minister and the Lord Chancellor, but it must be something prodigious to secure the ap- pointments which have been made during the last twelve months. We do not wish to refer to individuals. It is impossible to say what un- developed judicial acumen lies within the breasts of those who have been almost entirely unknown to our courts. What we are now concerned to say is, that these appointments ought all to be capable of justification upon legal grounds. There are so many practising barristers cf undoubted qualifica- tions that there is no excuse whatever for selecting persons who are little known to the courts, and whose qualifications are of the meanest. We do not share the view that capacity to speak the Welsh languago is essential in a Welsh county- court judge. Indeed, one most able to form an opinion considers it unnecessary. High Court judges do the business of the assizes without any knowledge of Welsh. Welsh interpreters are always available, and the solicitors in Wales all speak English, but do not all speak Welsh. And all children in the schools in Wales are taught English. But Wales would be glad of lawyers for their county-court judges if it can get them; so would the rest of tho oountry. It is really heart-breaking to hear the present Government reproached with so many judicial jobs'; it is mortifying that it should be absolutely impossible on so many occasions to say a good word in favour of the legal appointments. 4 Now, with all due respect to the Laic Times, I differ entirely from its views so far as the necessity for a knowledge of Welsh is concerned. His Honour, Judge Gwilym Williams-the only judge by the way since the time of Henry VIII. who has had the courage to conduct a case tried in his court entirely in Welsh from beginning to end—would be able to tell a very different story. Interpreters are not always available, and when they are are not always reliable. We have had too numerous instances where a gross miscarriage of justice has resulted from the custom which prevails of insisting upon carrying on the whole business in English. Judge Gwilym Williams had one such case before him last week at Pontypridd. If an Englishman unacquainted with Welsh had sat upon the bench that day a man, per- fectly innocent, would have been committed to gaol for contempt of court. The man had attended at the previous court, and his case had been adjudicated upon by the Registrar, who ordered him forthwith to peform certain actions. The order was given in English — a language the man did uot Uaklerstand-aiid was not complied with, from no cause but simple ignorance of what he was expected to do. A few questions in Welsh put by the judge himself made this so abundantly clear that the committal which was about to be made out was not proceeded with. The House of Commons has already pledged itself to the principle for which I contend, and the Government has long since promised to give it effect by appointing none but Welsh speaking county-court judges and stipendiary magistrates in Welsh- speaking districts. It is for the Welsh people themselves, of themselves, and through their representatives, to insist upon their rights in this respect. Jtr Llew Llwyvo's friends throughout Wales are legion. How many there may be in Cardiff remains to be seen. He is just now in company with another Llew," nid amgen Llew Ebbwy, Mr John Williams, with that warm-hearted sympathy which characterises devotees of the musical art, has undertaken the task of getting up a benefit concert for his colleague, Llew Llwyvo, at Cardiff next week. It is to be hoped that his efforts will be heartily seconded by the bard-novelist-singer's ad- mirers.

HIS FLIGHTS OF GENIUS. When a fat woman and a man, who looked as if he had recently passed through great exposure, entered a Clark-street cable car, a fellow who had apparently been asleep, got up, grabbed his way from strap to strap until he stood opposite the woman. "Madam," said he, "you are entitled to my sympathy, and I cheerfully pive it to you." "I don't know why you need to sympathize with me," the woman snapped. "You do know mad—madam, but the in— innate modesty of woman's nature bids you con— conceal it. Your husband—for such I take him to be—is pretty full, and a woman whose husband is pretty full, can always have her drafts of Eym- pathy hon—honoured at the bank of my gentle nature." "What do you mean ?" the woman's husband demanded. I mean that you are drunk." ''Well, it's none of your business if I am, and besides that, I ain't any drunker than you are." Cap'n," said the sympathiser, as the impu- dent dis-discoverer of something that I've been trying to keep concealed, even from myself, you've got me to whip, and I now in—invite you to step off this oar." "He's not goin' to do no such of a thing," the woman exclaimed, seizing his coat tail, as he arose to accept the invitation. "He shan't be making a show of himself and I want to tell you right here that if you don't mind I'll have you arrested." Madam, that would be making an embarrass- ing spec—spectacle of me, and a revengeful creature of yourself. I—" "Oh, sit down," said the husband, "you're all right." "My friend," said the sympathizer, "as the dis—discoverer of something that I have been trying to bring out in striking illustration, you are deserving of reward. We'Jl sret off here and take a. drink." All right, I am with you, world without end," and he would have been, too, but the woman seized the tail of his coat, and gave it so strong a pull that she ahriostjripped it off. "You're not going to get off this car to get a drink. Do you understand ?" "Now, Mag, what's the use in being so foolish? This man is my friend, and he wa to throw business in my way. Let me go off here, and I'll meet you at the Lincoln monument." "You are not going." But what's the use in hamperin' me this way? The larger a man's circle of acquaintance is, the better his business prospects are. Let me geton." Sic down, I tell you." "Madame," said the new-found friend, "no man ad-ad-miras the determination of woman more than I do, but I never allow her to cir-cir- cumvent the flights of my genius. I am pre- pared." He took out a bottle and smilingly handed it to bis friend, but the woman seized it and threw it through a window. The husband uttered a spas- modic sort of cry, but the friend. etill rnruffled, said: But I never allow a woman to eir-circumvent the flights of my genius. The first bottle was a deooy, filled with a worthless aud insipid flnid, but this one hoMs the old stuff." He took out another bottle and held it until his new friend had taken a "long pull;" then, I bowing as he sat down, said Madam, having discharged my duty, I will now lake « restful and much-needed nap. When- ever you ieel that your courage has returned— whenever you feel that you can circumvent the wild and unexptoted flights of my genius, whisptr the words, 'Little Willie,' and I will, like the beautiful dreamer, awake unto thee. Until then, farewell."

HOW TEMPERANCE IS PUSHED. A Million Visits in One Day. It is probable that never before in any country have so many visits, having an identical object, been paid in one day as those paid on Saturday last by the friends and adherents of the United Kingdom Band of Hope Union. The scheme embraced a visit tu a million homes for the purpose of securing the adhesion of children (with their parents' consent), or of the parents tbems.,>lves, to the ranks of the Society. Tte number of forms for the use of the visitors exceeded 32,000, and it was found necessary to print 1,250,000 of the appeal with which they were furnished. An idea of the proportions of the effort may be gathered from the fact that the appaals amI 1ilstrnctions to visitors alone would make a column nearly the height of St Paul's Cathedral. Arrangements have been made for a second visit in the case of those who require a little time for consideration before putting their names to the pledce. Large towns and remote villages alike were included in the scheme, and even the publicans did not escape a. visit from the more enthusiastic of the workers. The general reception of the visitors was very cordial, and although exact returns nave not yet been furnished, a very large nnmber of pledges were obtainM.

A Sou of iNTJtMMiBANCJE.- Gilhooiv Will you join me ? Hostetter McGiuais In the first place, I never drink. Besides my doctor has forbidden me to touch alcoholic stimulants, and moreover I've just bad one, so I believe I will take a little snifter.

.U.UU .i Samuel's Sentiments. it SAMUEL ON FOOTBALL I do not play ar football myself, so I may be said to approach the subject with a mind entirely free from bias. And yet I have formed eoi&t strong views on the game, which, at this period of the year, and until tbi approach of the poet- maligned spring, will be a subject of more than ordinary interest to thousands of my misguided fellows. Concretely described, football may be said to be a game in which thirty men try so kick a ball over a bar. I know I shall be told by those who know, or think they know, all about the" science of the game that my definition is bald and in- accurate, but, in the face of this oontemptuous expression of opinion, I stick to mv guns. When a lot of boys attempt to play football they are, in all probability, "laughed at for their I pains, but when thirty full-grown men prooeed BEFOEE THE GAME. to do the same thing they are applauded to till echo, made small gods of by their partisans, and watched with eagerness by thousands of their fellow men and women. This is one of the pecularities of the English race. What in a boy is a wrong thing to do, in a man becomes a right thing, and in the case of football it is regarded as a thing of national importance, and is looked upon as a thoroughly English pastime and a national and representa- tive game. AFTER THE GAME. I take it for granted that M thousands of people watch it — and hundreds of full-grown and rational men play it—that there are advantages in the game of football that there are not apparent to the novice, but up to the present I have been entirely unable to ascertain their nature. But, as I said before, I am not a player. To me the principal results of the game lleem. to be torn jerseys, bruised shins, and broken ccllar-bones, with a sensation of glory at remote intervals in the shape of the cheers of satisfied specta- tors. Spectators, by the way, arc people who have to be seriously considered in connec- tion with the game of footbalL If they are pleased, nothing is too good for the team that pleases them. If they are annoyed ■•■•hey have, as the fre- quent and unpleasant appeals to County Com- mittees show, a ma.ttar- ot-fact and emphatic way of showing their dis- pleasure. As a rule they vent their ire upon the players, umpires, and referees by throwing sods or other handy material at them, and, if they happen to be over- exasperated, they take the law into their own hands, and break into OBJECTS OF ATTRACTION. the space set aside for play, going for anyone who may come within range of their mutilating hands or feet. Whioh proves thit football is not all beer and I AN IMPORTANT ITEM. skittles," and that those who play do not do se free from risks apart from the contingencies of theactualgams itself. I The umpires in a football match are people not to be envied. They are in the peculiar position that one of them is bound to offend the partisans of one of the clubs. Which is a state of things not to be desired bV the pluckiest or most hardened of men. Yet, ia spit« of all these drawbacks, footbail is the most popular of English games, and has more adherents than cricket, tennis, or golf. There- fore, as I said before, there must be more in the game than meets the eye of the common or garden spectator like my humble self. There is one phase of the foot ball-playing community that is worthy of all praise. and that is the readiness with which they lay themselves out to do a turn for charity. for this object they risk broken limbs, lumbago, and other kindred ills, and gather in gates the like of which could not be obtained from' any other pastime. Take it in all for all, football could ill be dis- pensed with. Long may it flourish. SAMUEL: HIS SENTIMENTS.

PERSONAL CLEANLINESS. Berlubbed Bredderen and Sistern,-De subject I chooses f or dis heah ebe.ning's discourse orr, on« wid w'ich you air not as familiar as yer mout be My subject am personal cleanliness, "uncle Mose what's de date ob de last baff you tuck ? You hai done forgot, I reckon. I reckon hit was whes you runned away from yore old master before d. wah, and when he was chasm' you wid dogs and < shotgun you swum a creek. I don't reckon yot has tuck a baff since. But I don't say dat Uncle Moss am de onh niggah in his congregash-jn what ain't taken a ban since de wah. Dar's Matilcy Snowbalj, for in- stance, and Jeems Webster, and 8am Jolm <: mg. Ef I was ter ask all dose who had taken a baff ia de last decade (which means ten yeahs}—I say, ii I was ter ask all dose ter stan' up, dey would find darselves in a hopeless minority, yit de inspired psalmist tells us dat cleanliness am next to godli- ness. If so, most of you niggahs am still in d, bond ob sin and de gall of inickwerty. Speakin' ob takin' a baff reminds me of wha( ha,p,tened at a place called Asbury Park, up Nori on de seaside whar the pious people holds camp meetings ebery year. Dar's de biggest kind ob t row going on bekase when the women goes intei de water dey puts on bavinc t-uits what conoealt dar pussons too much, and de elders and d( deakins at the camp-meeting objects. Dey wanto de wimmin ter go into de water in having suits. which air so small dat dey wout be mistooket for porous plasters. Dat's de way I understandr de tow. From what I reads in de papers I learns dat a< Asbury Park de perlice has ter arrest any femal' j lady who attempts to go inter de water in one ok dese hear bags ob baving suits what conceals d< human form. Day wants de ladies to be as much ondreMed as ef dey was attending a ball in 4 deckolate costume, and I for one am in favor ob de law being enforced. Dis heah question am berry important, and ) is bound ter hab informashun on which I 08U rely, so I will spend my vakashun at Asbury Park. I shall leab next week, ^rd I hopes df kerleCshun will be a- copious as possible, tor I fe gwinter stay dar on expenses ontil I has investi- gated de subjec' from Dan ter Beersheba. Whttt de kerlecshun am being taken up de quire will sing, Just as I a.m, "A. SWEET.

I'VE NOTISED. I've notised that ail fools is efotists, but at egotists is not fools. I reckon it 'ud make a heej o hard feelin's ef we cood see our^el ves as other see us but ef others could see us as we set ourselves, it 'ud be the biggest surprise party tba ever was knowed. The feller thet's ash arm 1 o' his relidjun, don't need to be, fur he hain' generally got enuff of it for to be ashamed of. I've notised thet them thet asks the mosi queschuns hain't alius the best informed. I reckon it 'ud bee a heep easver fur to find t needle in a haystack" than it 'ud be to find twe human bain's eggsact, mattSs. I've notioec that; them that thinks thet there haiat DO hell is ginarally the ones the,, haf the most reason to be afeard that there is. 1 reckon there's more surprizes at heaven's gat» than anywhere else in the hull unyverse. I'v« noticed that when a feller finds out thet hit opinyon conflicts with his interests he changel one or tother mighty quick. I reckon ef we'd never find fault with a man's work when he's dont. it better than we cood do it our own selves, then 'ud be a beep Jess fault findin' in this world. I've notised that there's mighty few men thet's sharp enuff to diskiver a hole in a feller's shoe, ef thit. shoe's well blacked an' polished. I reckon ef everybody 'ud get what they think they deserve in this world, yo' cood find stan'tin' room on the top o' the Washin'ton Monument for all the poor fokes yo' cood scrape up ai*d ef nobody 'ud ail no more'n they ackshully deserve, the rich foket woodn't be no ways crowded in the same place.

All is not sealskin that shines. Cats have beat known to run on backyard fences when a newfoz cloak was going b*.