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LOVE,

MRS. CURTAIN LECTURES.

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MRS. CURTAIN LECTURES. Candle comes home in the Evening, as Mrs. Caudle "in "just stepped ont, shopping." 0,£ her return, at ten, Caudle re- niunst rates. Mr, Caudle, you ought tu haYc had a slave-yei;, a black slave, and not a wife. I'm sure, I'd lletter been born a negro at Ot1f'('-ml.h better. What's the matter, now? Well, 1 like that. Upon my life, Mr, Caudle, that's very cool. I can't leave the house just to buy a yard of riband, but you storm enough to carry the roof otTo You didn't storm?-you only "poke? Spoke, indeed! No, sir: I've not such superfine feel- ings; anel I don't cry out before I'm hurt. nut you ought to have married a woman of stone, for you feel for nobody: that is, fur nobody in your own house. I only wish you'd show sulne uf your humanity at home, if ever so all, \1::1,t do you say ? Where's my feelings, to go shopping at night 1 When wouid you have me go? In the broiling sun, making my face like a gipsy's ? I don't see anything to laugh Mr. Caudle; hut you think of anybody's face before your wifc"s, Oh, that's plain enough and all the world can see it, I ilare say, now, if it was Miss Prettnnan's face-now, now, Mr. C'auZ;¡, What are you throwing yourself about for? I suppose she's flesh anù blooù, What? You don't know 1 II,l I dare say. What, Mr. Caudle? You'll have a separate room? you'll not be tormented in tltis manner ? No, YOU won't, sir-not while I'm alive, A separate room! And" yOU call yourself a reli- gious man, Mr. Caudle ? I'ù advise you to take down the l'rayer Book, and rpad over the Marriage Service. A separate TOom, indeed Caudle, you're getting quite a heathen. A se- parate room! Well, the servants would talk then! nut no no man-not the best that ever trod, Caudle- shoulù ever make J;]" look so contemptible. I shan't go 10 sleep and you ought to know me better than tu ask me to hold my tongue. Because JOu come home when I'c just stepped out to ÃO a little shopping, you're worse than a fury. I should like to know how many hours I sit up for YOI\? What do you say? Nobod.1/ wants me to sit up ? lIa! Unit's like the gntitude of men-just like 'em! But a poor woman < an't leave the house, that-what? Why can't 1 go at reason- able hours ? I.easonahle! What do you call eight o'clock ? f I went out at eleven and twelve, as you come home, then you might talk; but seven or eight o'clockâ why it's the cool of the ⢠â¢vening the nicest time to enjoy a walk; and, as I say, do a ULc bit of shopping. Oh yes, Mr. Caudle'. I do think of the people who are kept in the shops just as much as you but that's nothing at all to do with it, I know what you'd have, You'd have all those young men let away early from "the Counter to improye what you please to call their minds. Pretty notions you pick up amGng a set of free-thinkers, and I don't know \Iat! When 1 was a girl people never talked of minds-intel- lect I believe you call it, Nonsense! a new-fangled thing,just cume UP; and the sooner it goes out, the better. Don't tell me! What are shops for, if they're not to be open Utc and early loo? And what are shopmen, if they're not always to attend upon their customers ? People pay for what they havc, I suppose and arn't to be told when they shall come "wi by their money out, anù when they shan't ? Thank good. ness if one shop shuts, another keeps open; and I always third" it a duty I owe to myself to go to the shop that's open hist; it's the only way to punish the shopkeepers that ar.. idle, and give themselves airs about early hours, Besides, there's some things Ilike to buy best at candle-light. 011, don't talk to me about humanity Humanity, indeed, for a pack of bll, strapping young fellows-some of 'em big enough t" be shown for giants! And what have they to do 1 Why nothing, but to stand behind a counter, and talk civility. Yes, I know yor.r notions you say that everybody works too much: I know that. You'd hare all the world do nothing half its time but twiddle its thumbs, or walk in the parks. or go to picture- galleries, and museums, and such nonsense. Very line, Indeed; but, thank goodness! the world isn't come to that pass yet, What J.<) you say 1 am, Mr. Caudle ? A foolith woman, that rm't [uoll beyond my own fire-,ide? 0 yes, I can; quite as far YOU, ami a great deal farther. But I can't go out a shopping â¢.villi my ueir friend Mrs. Wittles-what do you laugh at I Oh, don't they ? Don't women know what friendship is Upon my e.i'e you've a nice opinion of us! Oh, yes, we can-we can look LJut-i,le our own fenders, Mr. Caudle. Anù if we can't, it's all the better for our families. A blessed thing it would be for their ,ives anù children if men couldn't either. You wouldn't have lent that five pounds-and I dare 8ay a good many other five pounds that I know nothing of-if you -a lord of the creation! -d half the sense women have, You seldom catch us, I believe, lenùing five pounds, I should think not: No; we won't talk of 11 to-morrow mommg, ): ou re not sohv to wound my feelings when I come home, and think I'm to say nothing aùout it, You have called me an inhuman pers.}U; YOU have said I have no thought, no feellUg for the health and comfort of my fellow-creatures I <1on't know what you haven"t called me and only for buying I shan't tell 5 1,:1 what; no, 1 won't satisfy yOU there-but you ve abused me .n this manner, and only for shopping up to ten o'clock. You've have a great deal of fine compassion, you have I'm stae the young man that served me could have knocked down an ox; yes, strong enough to lift a house but you can pity him -.oh yes, you can be all kindness for him, and for the world, as you call it. Oh, Caudle, what a hypocrite you are! I only wish the world knew how you treated your poor wife. What do you say ? For tht love of mercy let you sleep ? Mercy, mdeèd! I wish you could show a little of it to other people. 0 yes, I do know what mercy means but that's no reason I should go shopping a bit earlier than I doâand I won't, IJreached thIS over to me again and again; you've made me go to meetings to hear all about it ⢠but that's no rcason women shouldn't shop just as late a.<¡ tney choose It's all very fine, as I say, for you men to talk to us at meetin(7s where, of course, we smile and all that-and sometimes shake our white pocket-handkerchiefsâand where you say We have the puwer of early hours m our own hands. To be sure we have and we mean to keep it, That is, I do. You'll l1ever catch me shopping until the very last thing; and-as a matter (If always go to the shop that keeps open latest. It dues the young men good to keep 'em close to business. Improve their minùs, indeed Let 'em out at seven, and they'd improve nothing but their billiards. Besides, if they Want to improve themselves, can't they get up, this fine weather, at three Where there's a will, there's a way, Mr. Caudle. â »â" I thought," writes Caudle, that she had gone ta sleep. In this hope I was dozing otT, when she nudged me, and thus declared Caudle, you want nightcaps i but see if I budge tv buy em tiU.niae at flig&t V -Furwh!

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